Day 29 - Dashing Yonder and Thither

Happy New Year's Eve, everybody.

No update on the news from yesterday; I still can't remember what that third item of news was to be. It definitely was not:
3) I have been abducted by a sinister cult and used in their sinister experiments.
It might have been:
3) I have been abducted by a sinister cult and used in their sinister experiments AND THEN HAD MY MEMORY WIPED.

Is it traditional to make New Year's Resolutions on New Year's Eve, or New Year's Day? I'm not entirely sure, but the Day seems more appropriate. To compromise - for what is life without compromise, other than a fulfilling one with a strong moral code? - I will present my own Resolutions tomorrow, and today I shall give the Resolutions of Mr H. R. Cramworth, who lives in a suburb of London, in the year 378 P.G. (Post Gralling), in a universe differing only slightly from our own.

1) Tell Maria how I truly feel about her, instead of panicking and buying yet another marmouth slave each time I go to her shop.

2) Lose 30lbs so that I can join in the annual Synchronised Poison Marching Parade Spectacular Competition.

3) Kill the Beast Within.

4) Tame the Beast Without.

5) Check the sage about the Beast in the Basement.

6) Learn French.

Next blog in 2009; be sure to check for more exciting Resolutions.