Happy Prime Day, everybody!
Today, I have been ill. Women in my audience will be scoffing, and muttering cruel words under their breath at this point. "Ill? Ha! Try giving birth to a child!" The men, on the other hand, will be nodding wisely and sympathetically, fully aware of the special viruses that seem to target men to the exclusion of all other genders.
Sexist, inaccurate, and wrong though this portrayal is, it's still sadly all too true. Why, Julia barely pitied me at all, meaning that I had to make up the slack with a bucket load of self pity. And self pity shouldn't come in bucket sizes.
My nose is aching, and my joints are running. My throat is congested and my chest is sore. Oh, woe is me. Fear not, gentle reader, as you go into the dying of the light - my constitution is strong, and I shall overcome. Though my body be weak and shattered, a mere husk, a remnant of the proud man I once was, I will recover. I will replenish my strength, and avenge myself on those who mocked me in my weakened state.
Pity not me, but these poor fools. For it is they, not I, who shall rue the events of this day forever more.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
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