Results!

18th August, 2005 - a day that will live in infamy!

All over the UK, hundreds of thousands of students tore open their brown envelopes - some eagerly, some with trepidation, and some just plain drunk - to find out whether their hopes were dashed or their egos inflated.

Eyes were filled with tears, mouths with laughter, streets with the blood of innocents (so I am told).

And during all this medley and mayhem, a young 17 year old by the name of Thomas Bloom, just out of potty training, fumbled with his own brown envelope to receive his results.

Unfortunately, at that moment, a freak gust of wind blew a brick through his school hall's window. Due to a stroke of bad luck, simultaneously, a seagull high on sardines and crack was flying towards the window. It snatched the envelope out of Thomas's hands and flew back towards its flock, croaking triumphantly.

Not one to be beaten by a feathered felon, Tom put on his propellor beanie hat and fired it up, rocketing up after the bird.

The bird panicked at this unexpected pursuit, and called for its flock to come and aid it in this life or death struggle. Hundreds of druggy seagulls divebomped towards the happless sixth former.

Bringing out his handy sardine with his customary flourish, Tom threw to his right, and laughed evilly as the seagulls dashed towards it, leaving the way between him and his enemy clear.

His battlecry still ringing through the clear summer sky, Tom grabbed the bird, and after a firm beak twist, released it and opened his results:

(The total of my ASs):

Religious Studies: 283/300 (A)
Mathematics: 300/300 (A)
Further Mathematics: 295/300 (A)
Economics: 275/300 (A)
History: 283/300 (A)
General Studies: 283/300 (A)

Hmm...awful lot of 283s now I look at it. Coincidence? I think not...