See? How much better do you feel now? Not very much? No? Well, to end this string of vacuous questions, I'll make a statement: the song which this post pays homage to was a great song. You should go and listen to it again, as soon as possible. Then, indeed, your life will be better.
For your education, here are some news stories, arranged by mood, for what you feel like reading:
Interesting, but ominous
Depressing
Light-hearted news
The actual headline should say it all: EXCLUSIVE Britain invaded by furry one-inch monsters that can KILL a human
Monday, June 11, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
The water hates me
Today, Julia's sister was visiting. To fully immerse her (and ourselves) in the Oxford experience, we decided to go punting. This is how it should have gone:
An idyllic punt down the river, gently floating past the green banks and twittering wildlife. Laughing merrily, and generally messing about on the river. In some moments, it was like this; a lovely experience harking back to better times, when people hadn't evolved legs and had to punt to get around the place. Unfortunately, a lot of it (especially the first part) is better represented by this photo:
Note the subtle distinctions with the previous photo. Both Julia and I have annoyed looks on our faces, as we both try to silently blame the other for losing her sister in the river. I stare hopelessly across to the other bank, where a pack of wild ducks scamper back to their burrows with young Louise as their hostage. Julia is peeved that she had the sandwiches on her when she was taken.
The previous paragraphs contains a (very) few factual inaccuracies. What is true, however, is the actual mechanics of punting did not go as well as I would have hoped. It reminds me of a time (the first time, I hasten to add) when me and Julia decided to go out on a rowing boat around the lake. It says all that needs to be said when I say that we rowed for the first 10 minutes backwards with great difficulty, watched with amusement by the men in the boathouse.
Needless to say, rather than correcting us immediately, they simply smirked on our return an hour later.
An idyllic punt down the river, gently floating past the green banks and twittering wildlife. Laughing merrily, and generally messing about on the river. In some moments, it was like this; a lovely experience harking back to better times, when people hadn't evolved legs and had to punt to get around the place. Unfortunately, a lot of it (especially the first part) is better represented by this photo:
Note the subtle distinctions with the previous photo. Both Julia and I have annoyed looks on our faces, as we both try to silently blame the other for losing her sister in the river. I stare hopelessly across to the other bank, where a pack of wild ducks scamper back to their burrows with young Louise as their hostage. Julia is peeved that she had the sandwiches on her when she was taken.
The previous paragraphs contains a (very) few factual inaccuracies. What is true, however, is the actual mechanics of punting did not go as well as I would have hoped. It reminds me of a time (the first time, I hasten to add) when me and Julia decided to go out on a rowing boat around the lake. It says all that needs to be said when I say that we rowed for the first 10 minutes backwards with great difficulty, watched with amusement by the men in the boathouse.
Needless to say, rather than correcting us immediately, they simply smirked on our return an hour later.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Forteanute times
Today we do indeed live in forteanute times, with so many strange and wonderful things going on around us. Like this story here. Medication gone wrong, or a Vulcan in disguise? You decide.
Many things have been going on in my life, of course, being the socialite daredevil that I am. Today, for example, me and Julia went on a trip to Oxford's Botanical Gardens, which were lovely. I have many photos, but uploading them all onto here would take too long. Email me if you would like to see some.
After that we went to the Queen's Lane Coffee House for some lunch. I had a club sandwich, and Julia had some lasagne. Feeling very mellow and relaxed in the warm weather, I ambled up to the counter to pay, ambling like only a man who has just eaten a club sandwich can.
The waitress was clearly overwhelmed by my ambling skills, so gaped open-mouthed at for a few seconds before getting the bill. My harmony was soon to be shattered, as I discovered that they did not accept cards. I was in half a mind to escape that barbaric place on the nearest gyrocopter, but soon remembered that I was not in Victorian Britain any more. Cursing my misfortune, I had to walk ten miles to a cash machine. Julia had a nap.
Eventually I returned, and paid. We returned home, and I am now writing this blog.
Just another day in the life of me.
Many things have been going on in my life, of course, being the socialite daredevil that I am. Today, for example, me and Julia went on a trip to Oxford's Botanical Gardens, which were lovely. I have many photos, but uploading them all onto here would take too long. Email me if you would like to see some.
After that we went to the Queen's Lane Coffee House for some lunch. I had a club sandwich, and Julia had some lasagne. Feeling very mellow and relaxed in the warm weather, I ambled up to the counter to pay, ambling like only a man who has just eaten a club sandwich can.
The waitress was clearly overwhelmed by my ambling skills, so gaped open-mouthed at for a few seconds before getting the bill. My harmony was soon to be shattered, as I discovered that they did not accept cards. I was in half a mind to escape that barbaric place on the nearest gyrocopter, but soon remembered that I was not in Victorian Britain any more. Cursing my misfortune, I had to walk ten miles to a cash machine. Julia had a nap.
Eventually I returned, and paid. We returned home, and I am now writing this blog.
Just another day in the life of me.
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